312. The rain is everywhere
When my master and I were walking in the rain, he would say, "Do not walk so fast, the rain is everywhere." ~ Shunryu Suzuki It is day 312 of my sobriety journey. The past few days have been difficult. Dark. Tommy Rosen in his Recovery 2.0 talks about "the darkness of addiction and the light of recovery." I was diving into the darkness also known as social media, spending too much time in the anger and fearfulness of current events. Twitter has become a gloomy replacement for drinking. I realized yesterday that I was heading towards relapse. All the warming signs were there: anxiety, anger, mood swings galore, consuming large quantities of junk food, ignoring my sources of support, arguing with the internal committee who thinks drinking again would be great. Whenever I get close to a big milestone, the committee starts holding loud, boisterous meetings, clamoring for attention, whining and cajoling, wanting to have "just one" drink. I appoint