the swash zone

When you deeply accept this moment as it is -- no matter what form it takes -- you are still, you are at peace.   ~ Eckhart Tolle So, here I am starting over.  Same blog, different name, same person who began this journey a long time ago.  I have detoured many times and still, I end up here in this place of knowing that I can not continue to drink and drink and drink.  It is a form of slow suicide.   Today, while hanging out the laundry, I began to count my blessings and I realized that slow suicide is a way of being profoundly ungrateful for all that I have been given in life.  Ungrateful for life itself! Becoming a teetotaler, on the other hand, would be a celebration of the life I've been given, a way of saying thank you. I am committing to being here, in this place of discovery and recovery, every day for as long as it takes to transform myself from a drinker to a non-drinker.

As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.   ~ Eckhart Tolle I was sitting here sorting through quotes, trying to figure out which one best suited what is on my mind today. I have been thinking about why I have been successful so far. What has been different from past attempts?  I started out this time around with no expectations. Instead, I leaned on anticipation and curiosity. What's around the corner? Where will one more day of sobriety lead? Will it always be a struggle or is it true that it will get easier over time? And most importantly: Who am I without the crutch of alcohol? I started out this time with one real focus: sobriety. I didn't pile on a bunch of self-improvement projects the way I would if I bought a wreck of a house that I...